Built to Bond

Built to BondBuilt to BondBuilt to Bond

Built to Bond

Built to BondBuilt to BondBuilt to Bond
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    • Home
    • Built to Bond Series
    • Contact Josh
    • Services Offered
      • Emotional Intimacy
      • Recovering from Affairs
      • Dealing with Infertility
      • Sexual Intimacy
      • The Parent-Child Bond
      • Therapy for Therapists
    • Meet Josh
    • Testimonials
    • Fees and Insurance
    • Common Questions
    • Online Couples Counseling
    • Hold Me Tight Chicago
    • Insights & Tools to Bond
    • Trainings for Therapists

  • Home
  • Built to Bond Series
  • Contact Josh
  • Services Offered
    • Emotional Intimacy
    • Recovering from Affairs
    • Dealing with Infertility
    • Sexual Intimacy
    • The Parent-Child Bond
    • Therapy for Therapists
  • Meet Josh
  • Testimonials
  • Fees and Insurance
  • Common Questions
  • Online Couples Counseling
  • Hold Me Tight Chicago
  • Insights & Tools to Bond
  • Trainings for Therapists

The Built to Bond Series

 This first month of 2 min daily videos has been generously sponsored for everyone to have access to these foundational relationship principles.  Improve communication.  Support each other in ways of comfort and meaning.  And avoid detractors and distractions to create a deeper connection.   

WEEK ONE Understanding Presence

Week 1 Day 1: What is presence?

Summary:
In this lesson, we explore the power of "presence" in a new marriage. Being present means giving your partner your full attention and being genuinely engaged in the moment. Life's challenges can make it difficult to stay focused on each other, but practicing presence helps couples stay connected and supportive. By embracing presence, you create a foundation for a deeper, more meaningful relationship.

Week 1 Day 2: What is communication?

Summary: 

Communication is at the core of any strong marriage. Today, we’re breaking down what true communication looks like. It’s not just about talking—it’s about making sure your partner truly understands you. Communication goes beyond words; it involves nonverbal cues, tone, and the intention behind the message. When we understand each other, even beyond words, we create deeper trust and connection. 

Week 1 Day 3: Tone of Voice

 Summary:
Josh discusses how to effectively communicate the message "I'm here for you" in a relationship. He emphasizes that showing support requires more than saying the right words; it involves demonstrating consistent presence and being there during both good and difficult times. 

Week 1 Day 4: What is the archenemy of presence?

Summary:
Today, we need to talk about the enemy of presence: absence. And I don’t mean physically not being there—I’m talking about being mentally checked out even when you’re right next to each other. One of the biggest culprits? Our cell phones. It’s so easy to get sucked into the screen and forget that your partner is sitting there wanting your attention. When you’re together, it’s crucial to be fully there—not just in body, but in mind and heart. Presence is about making sure the person next to you feels valued, not ignored.

Week 1 Day 5: Week 1 Wrap-up

Summary: 

Communication is at the core of any strong marriage. Today, we’re breaking down what true communication looks like. It’s not just about talking—it’s about making sure your partner truly understands you. Communication goes beyond words; it involves nonverbal cues, tone, and the intention behind the message. When we understand each other, even beyond words, we create deeper trust and connection. 


WEEK TWO The Power of Calmness

Week 2 Day 1: How does my presence effect yours?

Summary:
Today, we’re talking about calmness and its role in your relationship. Staying calm doesn’t mean avoiding emotions—it means handling those emotions in a way that brings stability to your relationship. When things get stressful, maintaining a calm presence can help both of you feel secure. It’s not about never getting upset; it’s about creating a safe environment where emotions are acknowledged, but not out of control. 

Week 2 Day 2: When the Mirror Neurons Ain’t Workin’…

Summary: 

 Today, we’re diving into how our emotions influence each other, thanks to something called mirror neurons. These neurons mean that we naturally pick up and reflect each other's emotions. When you’re stressed, your partner can feel it, and the same goes for calmness. If you project calmness, your partner is more likely to feel calm too. Understanding this can help you create a more positive atmosphere in your relationship. 

Week 2 Day 3: Calming Me, Calming You

 Summary:
Today, we’re learning how to access calmness through the power of intentional breathing. By using the 4-in, 6-out breathing technique, you can activate your vagus nerve, a system in your body that lowers your heart rate and blood pressure. As you calm yourself, you can offer that calm to your partner, turning it into a gift of presence that strengthens your bond. 

Week 2 Day 4: What If I Can’t Right Now?

Summary: 

 Sometimes, despite our best efforts, it feels impossible to stay calm and present—life just throws too much at us. Today is about what to do when it feels like everything is falling apart, and you can’t make the tools work. Stress from work, kids, family, or just having a rough day can make it hard to be the calm, supportive partner you want to be. And that’s okay. The key is to acknowledge those moments, take a step back, and use simple tools to regain your sense of balance. You don’t need to be perfect—just willing to try again. 

Week 2 Day 5: Week 2 Wrap-up

Summary:
This week, we focused on the power of calmness, understanding emotional influence through mirror neurons, and managing tough moments. We started with the importance of staying calm and how that impacts your partner. We discussed mirror neurons, which explain why our emotions can influence each other so easily. We also talked about breathing techniques to activate calm and what to do when you’re struggling to stay calm. It’s okay to not be perfect; what matters is acknowledging when you’re overwhelmed and having a plan to reconnect later. These ideas are all about building resilience together as a couple. 


WEEK THREE Enhancing Presence

Week 3 Day 1: The Power of My Smile

Summary:
 This week, we're diving into how to enhance presence. Imagine walking into a dark room. You might see outlines of furniture and textures on the wall, but it’s only when you turn on the light that you can see everything clearly. Presence works the same way. By enhancing it, you’re turning on the light in your relationship, allowing you and your partner to truly see each other. This week is all about the practices that make that light shine brighter—so you both feel seen and connected. 

Week 3 Day 2: The Power in My Eyes

Summary: 

  Today, we’re tackling something simple yet incredibly powerful: eye contact. It sounds obvious, but so many of us are losing this essential form of connection. Eye contact tells your partner, "I see you, and I’m listening." Without it, we miss a fundamental part of communication. This week, as we talk about enhancing presence, I want you to focus on the art of eye contact—because it makes all the difference in how connected your partner feels to you. 

Week 3 Day 3: The Messages From My Body

 Summary:
 Let’s talk about the power of body language. So much of what we communicate isn't in our words—it’s in our posture, gestures, and facial expressions. In fact, some say as much as 90% of communication is nonverbal. Today, I want you to think about what your body is saying to your partner. Are your arms crossed when they’re talking to you? Are you turned away, or are you leaning in, showing that you’re fully present? Enhancing presence starts with being aware of the messages your body sends. 

Week 3 Day 4: How to Un-Enhance Presence

Summary:
 Today, we’re covering the mistakes we make that sabotage presence. Picture this: you’re having a conversation, and suddenly, you pick up your phone, or your mind drifts to something else. Even if it's just for a moment, it tells your partner, "I’m not really here with you." Presence means giving your full attention. Distractions, even small ones, can break that connection. Let’s talk about how to eliminate those habits that undermine the quality of your time together. 

Week 3 Day 5: Week 3 Wrap-up

Summary: 

  This week, we focused on four main areas to enhance presence: turning on the "light" of attention, the power of eye contact, effective body language, and avoiding distractions. Enhancing presence is all about making your partner feel seen, heard, and valued. Eye contact, open body language, and avoiding distractions all help strengthen your connection. Remember, the little things you do to be more present make a big difference. 


WEEK FOUR Enhancing Presence

Week 4 Day 1: The Power of Touch

Summary:
This week, we’re shifting gears to talk about how presence creates bonding moments. It’s not just about being there; it’s about using those moments to build something deeper. Bonding happens when you’re present enough to create meaningful experiences together—when both of you are truly there, it turns everyday moments into opportunities to connect. Let’s explore how to take your presence and use it to deepen your relationship. 

Week 4 Day 2: Aligning Hearts

Summary: 

  This week, we’re shifting gears to talk about how presence creates bonding moments. It’s not just about being there; it’s about using those moments to build something deeper. Bonding happens when you’re present enough to create meaningful experiences together—when both of you are truly there, it turns everyday moments into opportunities to connect. Let’s explore how to take your presence and use it to deepen your relationship.

Week 4 Day 3: The Power of Pause

 Summary:
Today, I want to talk about the power of (...) pausing. Sometimes, when we’re excited or stressed, we rush through what we want to say, and it overwhelms our partner. Pausing isn’t just for the listener; it’s also for the speaker. It shows respect, gives space for real connection, and allows your partner to feel heard. Learning when to pause can make the difference between a rushed exchange and a meaningful conversation.

Week 4 Day 4: The Importance of Consistency

Summary:
Today, we’re talking about what not to do if you want your presence to create true bonding. Complacency is a big danger—thinking that because you’ve expressed love once, your partner should feel it forever. Presence is about consistency. You can’t just say "I’m here for you" once and think the job is done. It’s the small, repeated actions that build trust and connection over time. Avoid complacency—keep showing up every day.

Week 4 Day 5: Week 4 Wrap-up

Summary: 

  This week, we focused on four main areas to enhance presence: turning on the "light" of attention, the power of eye contact, effective body language, and avoiding distractions. Enhancing presence is all about making your partner feel seen, heard, and valued. Eye contact, open body language, and avoiding distractions all help strengthen your connection. Remember, the little things you do to be more present make a big difference. 

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Joshua Marder, LMFT

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  • Built to Bond Series
  • Contact Josh
  • Emotional Intimacy
  • Recovering from Affairs
  • Dealing with Infertility
  • Sexual Intimacy
  • The Parent-Child Bond
  • Therapy for Therapists
  • Meet Josh
  • Testimonials
  • Fees and Insurance
  • Online Couples Counseling
  • Hold Me Tight Chicago
  • Insights & Tools to Bond
  • Trainings for Therapists