Couples come to me when they feel far away from each other, not feeling supported, alone, always fighting, someone had an affair, intimacy issues, or they just feel they could be getting more out of their relationship. Sometimes they're questioning whether this relationship is viable and want to figure that out. And sometimes couples just want to take their marriage from good to great.
Because of my background in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, some of my clients are seeking an EFT specialist. Many therapists come with their spouses to work with me because they want an expert in the field to work with them. And I have a number of faith-based clients (of many different faiths) that come in as well.
The couples therapy that I practice and teach is a process that has a beginning, middle, and end. If both of the partners are eagerly wanting and able to work through the therapy process, it could be shorter. If there are significant traumas in the history of the marriage or even before the marriage, we will probably have to take things slower to keep emotional safety.
Common goals of couples counseling are to create a feeling of safety, security, comfort, love, healing, stronger intimacy, more passion, and a thriving bonding relationship.
Sometimes couples want to clarify if this relationship is "fixable." Often, one or both of the partners are wondering whether their needs will be understood and met in this relationship. And we will work through all these challenges together.
Most couples coming to me do not want to get divorced, though they often want clarity on whether their relationship is viable. If I see that one of the partners is no longer invested in the relationship, I will try to create a space for them to express their feelings to their partner. That does not mean the end of the relationship, but it does need to be addressed in order for them to move forward. Ultimately, divorce is a decision of the couple, not the therapist.
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